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Online casinos now have sophisticated systems in place that allow them to check the same play: As such, devious cheats are usually caught out very quickly.
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Home Casino articles How to cheat an online casino. Don Johnson not the guy from Miami Vice is, like the guy above, a whale. And, like the guy above, casinos don't like Johnson much because he just keeps winning all the time.
Anyway, Johnson figured out a lot of tips to gain the upper hand at the casino over the years, but one of his techniques is exploiting dealer error.
The game of blackjack, for example, requires dealers to be pretty quick with their math, since it's all about collecting cards that add up to 21 just one over, and you lose.
Dealer errors -- like if the dealer mistakenly adds a losing 22 hand up to 21 -- can get you all sorts of perks, from a free bet to just paying you out for the hand anyway.
There are extensive guides dealing with how to maximize the chance of such errors. Tips range from playing during the graveyard shifts, to distracting the dealer with unrelated questions, to exuding an unpleasant smell.
And Johnson, well, he would do everything from intimidating the dealers by angrily staring at them, to using his clout to hire scantily dressed porn stars to pretend to be his girlfriends just to boobsmack the dealer into a quivering mess.
So if you're ever at the casino and see a guy "accidentally" slap his dick onto the table while the dealer is trying to declare a winner, that's why.
The lottery is an attractive way to gamble, not just because of the huge jackpots, but because losing your life savings at a rate of two bucks a week isn't as noticeable as losing it in one bad hand at the poker table.
But the odds of winning a lottery jackpot are still tens of millions to one, which is roughly the probability of having a meteorite made of gold land right in your pocket while you're strolling down the sidewalk.
Still, an MIT senior named James Harvey figured out a way to rig the lottery in his favor by using book smarts, which are the natural enemy of gambling magnates everywhere.
His solution came from the fact that some lotteries use a "roll-down" system. That means that if no one person wins the jackpot by guessing all six numbers , then the amount is equally distributed among those who guessed four or five numbers, which is statistically easier to do.
Harvey simply realized that one person could still theoretically win the jackpot if they owned all of those less impressive tickets.
Harvey figured out, however, that the odds of guessing four or five numbers ran at a more comfortable 39, to 1. Even with enough tickets to fill a bathtub, they still only had a few winners with three or four out of six numbers.
Over time, the operation grew when more MIT students heard about how Harvey had gamed the system, and turned cracking the lottery into a profitable enterprise.
It didn't take long for lottery officials to find out about the scheme, but since Harvey and co weren't technically cheating, and the lottery was still making the same profit, they didn't do anything about it until some journalists started snooping into the suspicious fact that the same group of students kept winning the lottery every week, after which the officials quietly discontinued the game.
We said it above, and we'll say it again: Mohan Srivastava, a Canadian statistician, was cleaning out his desk when he discovered an old gag gift from a friend -- scratch tickets.
Apparently, this is how statisticians play pranks on each other, because any true statistician knows that scratch tickets aren't worth shit.
But after winning three bucks on one of the tickets, he got to wondering how he could crack the scratch ticket code , which sounds like the plot to a Dan Brown novel after he's far beyond running out of ideas.
What occurred to him is that scratch tickets cannot be produced randomly, because that would enable the possibility of randomly generating a dozen billion-dollar winners that would crash the system.
No, there had to be a pattern. And Srivastava, being a statistician worth his salt, accidentally solved the pattern on his lunch break.
He turned his attention to a specific game -- basically a tic-tac-toe game that asks the player to match a series of visible numbers against the numbers under the scratchable coating.
It takes a bit of math knowledge to understand exactly what he did, but in short, Srivastava discovered that the frequency of the visible numbers gave insight into what numbers appeared under the scratch zone -- and he became so good at predicting it that he didn't even have to scratch his tickets to know if he'd won.
And, unlike the techniques above that just gave players a slight edge over the house, Srivastava's technique was 90 percent accurate.
The more he bought, the more he'd win, until somebody caught on. Being Canadian, Srivastava didn't use his mathematical scratch-hacking to become a millionaire, but instead politely reported his findings to Scratch Ticket Headquarters so they could correct it, presumably apologizing the whole time for his nosiness.
That's right, kids -- he won the greatest lottery of all. The lottery of human kindness. Or, he was just getting them to let their guard down so he could take them for a much greater sum down the line; keep an eye on him.
Why didn't you tell me probabilities could be solved by math?! Follow Chris over at Laffington. Are you on reddit? Click on over to our best of Cracked subreddit.
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But, y'know, probably not. These historical finds don't belong in museums, they belong in horror movies. Don't make me do this again. Don't have an account?
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